I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
my shit smells like andre
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
