You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
