if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
