She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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