You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
