Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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