I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I stole a fireplace last night.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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