also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
