Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
