he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize