My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
