I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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