she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
