yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
