I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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