I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
