im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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