Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
did you get engaged???
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
this is an emotional support booty call
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
