I must be too annoying 4 u.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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