real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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