is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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