All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
