Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
