pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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