We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
