its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize