its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
