I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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