who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
