there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize