Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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