No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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