They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
