I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize