Your tits are I can't wait for
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
