I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize