i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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