If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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