Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
