This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
