VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize