Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
