someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
