So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
