I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
