you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
