I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
