It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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