where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
