We won't sleep together?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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