I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
