He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's shark week go big or go home
Your penis caused this!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize