okay pat passed out under dana's car
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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