My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
