Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
