"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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