Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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