it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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