is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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